~golden key birthday~

yesterday was my birthday. it's my 21 years old birthday, however, once the clock reach 12, there were only few of them wishes me. i was waiting for someone else to wish me. even weng kit have a sms from singapore. where is my malaysian buddies?i'm quite disappointed.

on that day, i was going to college as usual. once i reached, arika came along and wished me. of course i wished her back cause we are having the same birth date. after that only some of the classmate wishes me. i thought our class ended by 4 something since we have replacement class, however, our replacement class cancel. our math class only took 1-2 pm. i finished the math paper earlier, therefore, i'm so free. i send a sms to loong hui and asked him whether wan to go out 'lepak' with me since he is so free. he took very long time to reply me:

loong hui sms:o yea ho. someone birthday today. haha. but ivy not free wo. not fri meh? today ur family celebrate with u ka?

i reply:haiz... mo leong sam.. never mind lo. i lepak myself.

loong hui sms:aiyo so kesian meh? lepak where o. sunway a? ur family not celebrating with u meh?

i reply:haiz..my parent dun k bout our birthday.. where got celebrate wan?pity me... all form 6 fren mo leong sam... dun wan to celebrate for me.. so, i need to lepak my own lo... haiz... so sad.. if i din sms someone now, for sure this people also forget me ady... haiz...

loong hui sms:where got like that. i free sure come out with u de ma..

i reply: i think i will going to midvally. wan to follow?

loong hui sms:what time?

i reply:i dunno... now i'm going to take ktm. dunno wat time only can reach..

loong hui sms:errm, i need to ask my mum first..

[i reach midvalley and have a piece of cake and ice blended green tea at secret recipe]

i finished all my stuff. finally loong hui reply:

loong hui sms:ei, u still at midvalley?

i reply: yup.. you r not coming right? if u not coming, i will sit for a little while then i will go...

loong hui reply: o... ya lo.. my mum la. ask me to change curtains last minute. sorry a bday girl. then later u got programme? go home and sleep a? haha.

loong hui sms: y don't wanna reply me? angry meh?T.T i also very kesian one.cny my mom say have to change to curtains wo. fri i free. tat day come out how?

i reply:c how.. no mood now...wat should i reply?

loong hui sms: don't like that la~~ i'll make it up to u. i promise. be safe on ur way home a.:)

i reply: i'm really disappointed. not because of u.. dun worry.. some of my fren not sending a wish to me. even weng kit at singapore also wish me yesterday night.

i took ktm back to my area.as usual, i walk home. my phone silent for a few hour. i went out to buy prepaid card reload for my phone. on the way home, i saw ivy's car there. i thought she was going to do treatment for her hair. this really make me even hurt cause she told me that she is not free. i walked back to my house. i watch the tv just like wat i do usually. suddenly, my dog keep barking. my dad said someone come to find me. when i go out from my house and i saw loong hui and ivy were here. they told me "surprise". only i realise that they have planned to cheat me.

loong hui keep on saying someone sms me and said i'm disappointing... he keep record every movement i did for the surprise purpose. i feel really touching. after tat, we went to have dinner together at cowboy steakhouse. we keep on candid on the camera until the table next to us keep looking at us. after dinner, we went back to my house to open the present. i feel really touching cause they gave me a bottle of perfume.

thank u so much my dear fren.thank u so much for the surprise*loong hui & ivy*
thank u so much for the present*loong hui*ivy*weng kit*
i really appreciate wat u all did to me..

prank?

i just reach college by my bro's car while my ass just reach the chair, suddenly navin come inside the class and tell us the class has been cancel. everyone did not believe him cause he always play a fool on people. everyone stay calm and then vj go find out. when he come back he tell everyone that the class has been cancel. wtf? i have no where to go. i just follow navin, vivien and remon and wait for the next class.

f & b service

this is the first time for me to serve in lakeside campus. however, i did not feel any nervous and scare this time. i was totally being free and just do my own thing slowly. it was really first time for me to feel tat. hope i will becoming more professional with my practical works.

zzz.......

i feel freaking tired now... i really need a deep breath.


1-i study on weekday
2-i work at weekend(my schedule completely full)
3-feel so stress and no where to release

where am i now?

study everyday from monday to friday, but i need to face those people that really fake to u. u have to act to them. i feel my mind is going to burst out. i just wanted to be real self. i cant imagine how cruel and bad they are? now i was in serious mentally abuse. i cant know wat the hell they think. if i do something bad to u, u can make it back to me but i din. y i have to face this kind of condition?
my class got 13 people excluded me but no one i can believe.this really make me sick..
arika,jasmine,mani, adrian-kepochi group(if i believe in them, for sure i ruin my life. especially jasmine- always look down on people. what u think u r? u r just same like us- human being. only know how to play boycott in the society. just stick to ur gang. or else u will be smack by people.)
then, my old buddies- x.wei and carol. i used to treat them good but they betrayed my trust. since arika and jasmine know that carol is rich and now they treat them in a different way. wat the hell is this? come on. eventhough she is rich but she would not give it to u,ok..
indon gang- i thought tat alicia got nothing with me but it seem like i'm wrong. i ask her whether can borrow her notes to photocopy however she is like keep on saying this and tat. then when the class over, x.wei ask her to borrow she said yes. ok, well. i guess i understand her action.
i just have to stand on my own feet. have to be very strong to defeat all this.

on the other hand, i need to work to support my school fees. i cant burden up my parent. i know they spend a lot for my fees. i will try to earn money by my own to pay the fees. therefore, i need to sacrifie my time to work on sat and sun. this few week, i work from 10 to 10. i feel y whole body was in freaking tired condition. from mentally to physically also bloody tired. can i have some break?
can u all stop torturing me.
can u all make my life easy- not as difficult like now?
i need break.
i need break.
i really need a break.
i cant support anymore.
let me have a good rest. can i?